Epithalamion

Zeus the Thunderer sent his golden rain,

Which fell at the wrong address, like orange juice.

Not having been invited, Nereids

Did not attend. Nor wood-nymphs. Neither fauns.

The guests arrived by Greyhound, on the Beagle,

Borne by two wolves named Love & Happiness;

And Dionysus brought a box of wine.

Hephaestus hit the cake with hammer blows,

Which scarcely cracked the frosting. Siva sent

Regrets, cerise bacilli, and a drum.

And Dionysus took his singlet off.

The bride wore orange blossoms and a snood,

Which Ceres blessed with lucky charms, her vows

The death of childhood and a Liebestod,

The groom brought all his horses and a halter,

And even Fafnir, stag but looking, wept,

Especially since the wedding cake was hollow,

Busy with carpenter ants and worker bees,

Suspended in lemon custard. And the fall

Began. The groom would end dragged by his heels,

The bride pent in a harem, Ceres’ child

Stuck, still in Hell, and Dionysus’ date

The sport of kings. Zeus sent a nice clean rain,

And all was gone, except for the photographs.